Why did THIS have to happen?
Why are things not going how WE had planned?
How is THIS supposed to be used for God’s ultimate plan?
Why does God allow THIS to happen?
These are some very common questions I’m sure many of us have asked ourselves and God at some point in our life. Cory and I ask some of these questions a lot – and we are trying to learn how to STOP asking the question. Asking the question doesn’t matter. Life happens, and you move on. Sometimes renewed – sometimes heartbroken and shattered. Sometimes you know the answer and find clarity– other times you grasp trying to find an answer so you have something to hold on to. Stop asking the questions...
Instead – ask God to give you the peace you need to keep going. Ask him to give you the wisdom and the courage to rely on him. We will never understand it all – so why do we keep trying?
The past few days (…weeks…years), our hearts have been very heavy and we have been asking some of these same questions.
* Cory’s dad has his scan on April 11th, and we did not receive the news that we wanted. The cancer spots on his liver have grown, and he has also gained new spots.
* My brother continues with his chemo treatments.
* Today we received an email that the other little girl that we had in Haiti also passed away. Both girls that we loved with literally all our hearts are now in the arms of Jesus.
* We have struggled with ‘unexplained’ infertility for over 3 years.
* There are many others with illnesses, broken hearts, and unforeseen circumstances.
So many instances to start asking the questions of "Why" . We can sit here and yell, asking the same questions and still not understand anything – or we can move forward with confidence. We likely won't understand, but we know that God is with us as we take our next step. We don’t know what tomorrow will bring but we have our time right now. Our hearts are heavy…but we continue on…because there is no other choice.
The one thing that I keep thinking back to is the book Heaven is for Real. If you have read it, I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. If you have not read it – READ IT! I was just talking with my sister-in-law last night about that book. Reading it gives you such a sense of peace. A peace about dying – a topic that is often too difficult to talk about.
I know my father-in-law has been heard making the comment “I win either way” in relation to his cancer. If the Lord decides to give him many more years on Earth, he wins by being able to spend more time with his family. If the Lord calls him home, he wins by being in eternal heaven forever – waiting for the rest of his family to meet him there. He wins!
It’s hard finding out that our 4-month old and 1 year old girls in Haiti have died - it hurts with words that we can’t describe. But after reading the book Heaven is for Real, I just keep picturing baby M. laying peacefully in Jesus’ arms – with her little smirk smile that makes her look so peaceful. Hearing the news today about our other little girl passing away hurts too, but again I picture baby A. sitting in Jesus’ lap, giving him her little sassy scream and smile! Our trips to Haiti really opened our eyes to the precious time we all have in our life. Life may be short – or it may be long. We have no control – just the choice to love with all our heart everyday of our life that we have.
Addy -
ReplyDeleteYou and cory continue to amaze me with your strength and your devotion to God continues to shine through more and more with every post. I too have asked those questions many times; about what has happened in our life as well as to those I love so deeply. I often pause to remember Proverbs 16:9 "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps."
My heart aches for you two as you hear about the passing of this second little girl and the results of Cory's dad's latest scan. We are sending our love and hugs to you at this time.
Ashley & Cory, I am so sorry for the loss of the second beautiful girl in Haiti. It is heartbreaking and impossible to understand why God calls babies home. Your post is wonderful to read even written under such tragic circumstances. Your love and trust in God shines through!
ReplyDeleteFrom my devotional this morning...
For I am convinced
(yes, absolutely and irrevocably convinced)
that neither death nor life,
(not cancer, accidents, difficult relationships, or disappointments)
neither angels nor demons,
(not cults, spiritual oppression, or evil in the media)
neither the present nor the future,
(not any crisis loooming now or any tragedy yet to come)
nor any powers,
(not political, financial, military, cultural, or other)
neither height nor depth,
(not great success or crushing defeat)
nor anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate me from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus my Lord. Romans 8:38-39