Mother's Day

I got to celebrate my first Mother's Day yesterday. It felt so amazing to finally celebrate a day I have been waiting years for! It was full of love, laughter and lots of hugs and kisses from Mari. It was also filled with tears, pain and heartache.

While I was celebrating my first Mother's Day, I watched as my mom celebrated a Mother's Day with a son in heaven. A scab that was all too fresh, was ripped open again with another daily reminder of her son, a son who will no longer be able to wish her a Happy Mother's Day.

While I was celebrating Mother's Day, there is a birthmother who longed for the baby girl that she gave birth too. There was a mother who remembered her baby girl kicking her in the stomach one year ago today.

While I was celebrating Mother's Day, I had a mother in law and a sister in law who didn't have their husbands to help celebrate with them...and I'm sure there thoughts quickly turned to, "in a month it will be Father's Day".

While I was celebrating Mother's Day, I remembered the previous years where I, quite honestly, hated this day. Experiencing infertility can do that to a person. It can make a person bitter and angry and jealous.

While I was celebrating Mother's Day, I realized it didn't matter what day it was. All that mattered was that I have a baby girl that I love with all my heart, and a little girl who loves me too. I got to wake up to see her smile and hear her giggles. Today I got to experience the same.

I love you baby Mari. I thank God every day for your birth parents, that they gave us our angel. I know they can see how much we love you, how much we cherish you.

I can't wait to celebrate Mother's Day again next year...but in the meantime we will be celebrating every day with our angel Mari.